Episode 27: Phoenix Blackwood Interview

R
Hello cinnabar moths or any kind of moth you’d like to be welcome to the writers triangle, Cinnabar Moth’s podcast about all things publishing, and books. Today we’re here with Phoenix, author of The Secrets That Kill Us. Phoenix, how’re you doing today? I’m doing well. How are you?

P
I’m doing pretty good. Thank you for asking.

R
I’m excited to have you on excited to be talking to you. And are you feeling excited about the release of the secrets of Oculus coming out on the fifth of April?

P
I’m super excited for my book to be out in the world. It’s been a really long time in the making.

R
How long has it been since you started writing the secrets I Kelis

P
I actually completed the book about a year ago. I had started writing it two years prior to that. But I created the characters and the story when I was

R

12. Oh, wow, that’s quite a while. So what was that process like for you when it came to creating these characters when you’re younger, and then also actually developing into the story. And writing the book as a whole.

P
It was difficult, but also very cathartic. The characters basically grew up with me. And I feel as if I’ve known them my whole life, my story was sort of a way for me to run away from reality when it was too difficult. When I actually started writing it, I had to process through a lot of things than the characters did and pieced together parts of the story that would communicate what I wanted people to see in the finished product.

R
So it was a very evolutionary process, both for you personally, as well as for the story itself, and then kind of combined in a way. Yeah. When you say that process was painful for you, or was it relieving? In a way? How did it feel?

P
Um, some parts of it were difficult. In particular, many of the main characters intrusive thoughts were difficult for me to write because they mirrored my own. And the main character’s experience with her mental health have a lot of parallels with mine. Writing some of the specific scenes required me to recall a very dark place in my mind, but I believe it was important to show to the peers.

R
Okay, so it was difficult, but in a way, also, did you find it helpful for yourself to be able to get those thoughts out? Or is it mostly just, I have to because it’s part of the process for this book.

P
Um, I think it was helpful. The A lot of the things like you think about them last after you write them.

R
That makes sense. I’m glad that this process was helpful for you. I think writing can be a very wonderful tool for processing a lot of the things that we go through in life. And having that available is really nice. And now you have the secrets like kilos, it’s written, it’s done. And it’s bound for publishing, bound to be coming out very, very soon now. How did you find cinnabar? Moth publishing to come and publish with us?

P
I was introduced to you by Andre actually. He’s a really close friend of mine. And when I told them that I was writing a correction.

R
Okay, so it was through introduction from Andre since we had worked with him, and he gave you the recommendation towards us, and makes me happy to hear we love Andre. He’s really great. And so was it just Andres recommendation that made you decide to publish with us? Or was it after talking with us that you made the final decision? What was that process like for you?

P
Um, I mostly saw a lot of the interactions of the press had with people and I really admired how genuine and accepting everyone was. So I wanted to publish with someone that would appreciate a messy and at times dark story that is rooted in exploring mental health and queerness. So you all the enthusiasm for my book that I had never really expected to see.

R
Okay, so it was it was less if that was the starting point was the introduction. But then from there, it was who we are cinnabar moth and our goal of creating a Walkman opening, feeling and kind of familiar feeling for our authors and for our community that finally meet you make the decision. Yeah. I’m really happy to hear that though. That is one of our goals is to have everybody more comfortable and happy when it comes to work. You’re with us and being involved with us. I want to ask you what was the most surprising thing about publishing with us?

P
Oh, it was honestly how quickly my book got moved up. Originally, we were expecting it to release until 2024. And now just around the corner,

R
it is a sudden change. But since all the process was done, we have been managing quite well with moving things around as needed. And as things go, because we’ve got a system that we feel works, especially in authors like you who are so wonderful to work with, it makes things very smooth as well. For publishing, to pull back a little bit from cinnabar moth and talk about Supersite kilos in a more general sense, what would you say has been the most surprising thing about publishing your book, just in a general sense?

P
How much the process is out of my hands, I don’t think I could ever self publish, I don’t envy all the logistics that go into publishing a book. So it’s really nice to be able to write my story and then send it off into the ether to become a fully fledged book.

R
There’s a lot of stuff after the writing process that can be a bit overwhelming when you look at it from an individual perspective. So the books now coming out on the fifth of April? And do you have any plans for celebrating the release of the secrets, like kill us?

P
I plan to sign a few of my author copies and send them to the people who have been my biggest supporters through all of it. I’m really excited to get my author copies too, to be able to hold the finished book in my hands.

R
Yeah, I think there is a certain realness that comes with having the book even even after going through those processes. It kind of is a sticking point. It’s like this actually happened. This is real, and it’s mine. Yeah. Would you say the who would you say have been your biggest supporters of this process that had been excited and supportive of your release and your entire writing journey? So I always say,

P
um, honestly, Andres, probably my biggest supporter that I sent him little snippets all the time, and we bounce ideas back and forth constantly. And I always leave a conversation and having more ideas.

R
Okay, so working with Andre? Well, not working. But talking with Andre. And Andre has been your biggest supporter has really helped with the process. Would you say? Yeah. And with the you’re sending off the author, copy, I’m guessing Andre is gonna be one of the people that you send one to

P
Definitely.

R
Well, Andre, if you’re, if you’re listening to this, thank you for recommending Phoenix to us. Phoenix has been wonderful. And without you, that might not have happened. And I hope you enjoy your assigned author copy. And anybody else that receives one from Phoenix. Hope you enjoy it as well. Moving on a little bit from that, to talk about the secrets to kill us again. How does it feel to know that your book will be listed in the US Library of Congress?

P
Um, it feels kind of surreal when I was writing my story, I never really imagined Nick having published let alone being listed in the Library of Congress.

R
And so can we go into a little bit more? When you wrote it? What did you imagine happening? Did you ever imagine actually publishing it? Or did you just think, all right, the story and then just kind of, that’s it? What was your thoughts after writing?

P
Oh, it wasn’t worth it. I just wanted to get the story out. So I wanted to write it. I didn’t really think too much about publishing it until Andre introduced me to you. Okay,

R
so your main goal was to get the story written. And then whatever comes after comes after kind of thing.

P
Pretty much yeah.

R
Well, now it is written, it is being published. What do you hope happens next? I hope that

P
the secrets that kill us is well received and that people can see themselves in their struggles and the main character. I’ve the feeling of being really seen when you’re reading a book is something I really enjoy and I want I get that experience to other people if I can.

R
Yeah, I do agree that when you can really connect with things that are happening to the characters, it’s can be really a special bond to a book or even a series of books at times. That really last in your memory Do you have any examples of books that you’ve read? Perhaps recently in the past that did that for you, but you felt that pond with

P
um, I recently read More Happy Than Not by Adam Silveira. And that one did it for me, but the one that really comes to mind is Felix Ever After by casing calendar.

R
I hadn’t heard of this, but I will look it up. And for those of you who are listening, they will, you’ll be able to look them up as well. If you haven’t already read them. For the secrets that kill us what you mentioned, then it goes into the concepts of queerness. And without any spoilers. Do you think you’d be able to talk a little bit about that? Or would you be open to talking a little bit about that your goals with exploring the topic of queerness?

P
Um, well, the main character really struggles with their identity and how they fit in in the worlds. So I wanted, I wanted to be able to kind of showcase what that mental process is like, so that people who have it can like see like, Oh, hey, I thought that same thing. But it turned out to be okay.

R
It’s a story of dealing with struggles or dealing with views of the world and processing those views and come out the other side. Okay, not not not even necessarily good, because, but it’s fine. Yeah. I think that is a very important story to tell. And we are excited to have you can have you publish it? And going a little bit beyond just publishing the secrets that kill us. Do you plan on? Or do you hope to make writing become your career, if that’s possible?

P
If it turns out to be something I can support myself on, I’d love for writing to be my career. I really like exploring my characters through writing and writing new stories that people can relate environments of them.

R
Yeah. So you’re, you’re wanting to write as many stories as you can, that people can connect and bond with, and explore topics that people can relate to. Yeah, I think that’s a very nice goal to have. And I think that having books out there like that is very useful for helping people, especially I think, people who are still looking for some type of connection, or looking for people like themselves, or have some or at least similar, that it can be helpful to have books that talk, talk about these things, or explore these topics, to provide similar or even sometimes different perspectives that can help to explore them in a deeper way, than what might be possible by themselves. Moving back to the secrets of killers itself, if it were to become a best seller, what would you do? How would you feel?

P
Um, I’d start off by paying off my debt, but you know what I do, but I’d be happy that people love the main character as much as I do. And I’d be proud to have gotten her story out there and to give people look into the experience of a queer teen who struggles with their mental health.

R
So for your main joy would be how many people are experiencing that and connecting with that topic? Yeah. Okay. Now we’ve got the idea of the best seller, but what if we make this even a little bit bigger? What if the secrets like kill us becomes movie or TV series? Do you have any ideas of who you’d want to be cast for any roles?

P
I don’t really have any actors in mind, but I’d love for my characters to be authentic. We cast as an actual trans and queer actors. Um, I have a background in studio art. So I do have mental pictures of what my characters look like. And I’ve drawn them many times, but I’d prefer actors that have lived experience over simply looking like what I have in my head. Okay, so

R
your main goal or preference would be people with lived experience with the types of topics that are covered in the book, and actors who are closer in that regard to the characters over anything else? And between the two movie or TV series, do you think that the sequels that kill us would be better as one or the other? Or do you think they both work?

P
I think I’d prefer a movie as it might be kind of short for a TV show unless the TV show had a really great director that I could collaborate with the villain some scenes.

R
Okay, so do you think you’d want a high level of creative control when it came to the creation of the movie or TV show? Or are you just wanting a little bit of collaborative effort? What? What level of involvement do you think you’d want with it?

P
Ideally, I’d like to have at least a little input into the creative process in order to communicate the essence of each character into a new map. I’d be open to compromises but someone but if someone tried to take out the integral part, I like to have the power to say no, I wouldn’t mind it not being exactly what’s in my head. But I still want my story. I still want it to be a story by a neurodivergent, queer writer for neurodivergent queer people.

R
So you mainly be looking to avoid having the heart of the story, or changed might be kind of your main thing that you want to avoid? Yeah. I think that makes sense. I think that’s true for any writer wants their story to be as true to its essence as possible, even when it becomes a new medium, because there will always have to be some alterations with it being a movie or TV show, but the core of what the story is, should be able to remain the same. Yeah. And so let’s imagine you’ve gone through this process you it’s been coming out as a movie, since you’ve mentioned, that’s your preference. And you’ve got the process of working with the director, making sure that it’s all good, the casting everything, and it’s going to be airing, would you want to go to the premiere? And if you did, and you have a plus one? Who would you take with you?

P
I definitely want to go to the premiere. And I take Andre with me.

R
And so you take your biggest supporter and Andre and and going through from there. How excited would you be with it becoming movie? After all this work and all this effort?

P
Um, it would, I don’t know that it would feel real to me even like watching the movie. I mean, they’re like, Wow, this is a great movie. I wonder who wrote this?

R
I recognize on these characters. Yeah, I think the, it’s kind of hard to imagine from here, something as big as getting to the movie situation, because movies, at least in my mind are kind of this mystical thing that happens to some books, but I can imagine how it gets there. And so for imagining the secrets to kill us becoming a best seller. If we’re imagining it becoming a movie. We’re also imagining that it’s becoming very, very popular and well known. With popularity, it would tie in to you also having popularity, and becoming well known as well. When it comes to fame, and when it comes to becoming well known. Do you have a certain level of fame that you think that you would like or a level of fame that you think you wouldn’t? Like? How famous Would you be okay, would you be okay with being as famous as Stephen King, for example, where you lost your anonymity.

P
It’s not specifically a goal of mine to become famous. I wouldn’t mind it for the simple fact that I’d be reaching a lot more people with a story like the main characters and I think I think if it got to the point where there were like paparazzi hanging outside my house, I might have some issues. But

R
so unless it’s extreme III think you’d be fine with being well known, even if people recognized you, like at a coffee shop, for example. And they’re like, Hey, didn’t you?

P
Yeah.

R
Okay. And so I think that it’s great that you’re able to feel comfortable and calm and okay with that. And if you did have this type of thing happened, where people were recognizing you, and were wanting to talk to you, well, what would you you’re hoping when it comes to the types of conversations that people would have with you about the book.

P
Um, I would hope that they either related to it or like found some kind of solace in it, or that they learned something from it.

R
Okay, so in that it goes back to the core of whiteness be a story that talks about queerness and neuro divergence, and allows people to connect with that topic. Yeah. And so with you, as a writer, would you say that your focus for this story and potentially future stories, if you write any will heavily focus on no divergence? And queerness as the the main thing, for other books that you might write as well? Is that your goals? are writers to discuss these topics? Or is your writing goal broader than that, and this happens to be one of the sections of your writing.

P
I want to explore a lot of topics that people don’t, that aren’t as common that people struggle with, like, um, a lot of a lot of mental health and queer issues, of course, but like even issues such as how to deal with a toxic relationship or something like that.

R
Hey, yeah, I do. I do think that that is a topic that is often can often be shown in books, but isn’t necessarily discussed in books, which I think is always an interesting thing, when it comes to these types of topics is, they can be shown but then they’re not broken down at all, or really highlighted. I do think that that having books available, such as the sequence of killers that highlight these topics, and delve into them a little bit deeper than the surface level, can really be helpful in progressing the dialogue about it or make allowing people to understand the deeper both those with lived experience and those hotel to be able to come to it and be like, hey, this makes sense to me. Yeah, I think that’s a wonderful goal. And I think the I personally, am excited for the sequence to kill us. And I imagine there are quite a few listeners and potential readers out there who are already excited about the sequence kill us. And I want to thank you for writing the book. And thank you for coming to us in Vermont with it. And also thank you for talking with us today and being on the writers triangle. And thank you to all her beautiful moss for listening. Please go ahead.

P
I just said of course it’s been fun.

R
Anglin and for those of you listening, be sure to buy the secrets. Oculus is coming out April 5 2022. And you can find it on the cinnabar moth website which has links to lots of different places you can buy Amazon, Barnes and Noble, etc. And Phoenix, can you tell us where we can find you any social media links? And like?

P
Um, you can find me at Phoenix blackwood.com and on Twitter at Nick’s Blackwood.

R
Okay. Thank you very much for coming and talk to me. And thank you to all of our cinnabar moth for listening. Be sure to visit cinnabar moth.com to check out the transcripts and we’ll also have all links to Phoenix’s social media. Phoenix it’s been a pleasure talking with you and discussing these topics. And I hope you have a wonderful rest of your evening. You too. Bye bye

P
bye