Episode 59: Slurs: When and How to Write Them
K
Hello, my beautiful cinnabar moths or any kind of moth you’d like to be. Welcome to the writers triangle, a podcast about publishing and all things books. And today we have a little bit of a heavy topic, I want to talk about writing slurs, because I think it’s really important in this day and age to understand one, what a slur is. Because I’ll be very honest, the definition of what a slur is, should never change, it should always be understood. But in my lifetime, I’m in my 50s. And in my lifetime, what a slur is, has changed quite a bit. And so I’m, I’m going to say a word that may be triggering for some people, and please forgive me, but the word bitch, for example, when I was growing up, bitch was not considered a slur. And it was something that could be used rather freely and said to anyone, it was also a term of endearment, and closeness. And there were taking back the language movement. And people were using that word and reclaiming the language. So there is a culture of taking a slur, whether it be a gender, slur, or an eye, an identity slur of any kind. And using that within the targeted group as a term of endearment, or empowerment. And for me, it’s, it can be quite jarring, and it can be done well and it can be done bad. But something to understand about slurs for me that I think is really important is that we understand that we are using a slur. So for me a slur is anytime language is used to hurt based on identity. Anytime you take an aspect of a person’s identity and make it have a negative connotation, that is a slur. And I’ll use an example one that isn’t as charged, but should be. And it’s the word gender. And for me having a lot of friends from the UK, I didn’t understand that gender could be used as a slur. And in my culture, it’s just not used as a slur. And I didn’t understand that. So understanding that language has cultural and regional specificity, specificity, and so do slurs. So some slurs and some language may land really heavy in one area, and not at all in another. And so looking at the different racial slurs and the different use of language throughout the years, anytime you’re using identity specific language, and you’re using it, and that with the negative connotation, that’s what makes it a slur. And I feel like that definition of what a slur is, is really straightforward and easy to understand and at the level where everybody can access it. And for me, I’ll be honest, the things that I was called out as, as a child in a derogatory way, really, really affect me deeply when I read them.
K
And the things I wasn’t called as a child don’t tend to affect me as much. And there are some things that people find really, really offensive and really heavily charged now, that don’t affect me at all, that have to do with my identity, because I just don’t, I think it was born after the storm may have been born after I went through puberty. And I, I kind of feel like after I went through puberty, what people could say, to injure me became really limited. My personality just changed quite a bit during that process. And I became stronger and my own identity and my own strength and understanding who I was, and what was beautiful about me, and really getting to that place of acceptance. Even when you’re in your strength and strongest moment of accepting yourself a slur can come out of nowhere, and really take you out of yourself and take you out of the moment and take you to a very bad place. It can take you to the sunken place. And it can happen just like that. And that’s the same I think for everybody, and what slurs impact you that way and what stores don’t impact you that way. It’s neither here or there. As a writer, you need to understand the power of your words. And the fact that as a writer, no matter what your identity is, once you step into the place of writer, you’re in the place of power, because you’re making all of the decisions. So every writer is writing from a place of power. And that power comes from the fact that you’re creating a world. You’re creating a story you’re creating characters you’re creating all of it, even if it Even if you’re writing nonfiction, you’re choosing what to show and what not to show, you’re making all of the choices in that first draft of your writing. And then you have editors that come along and have their their 50 cents on publishers, and agents, and all of those things that have their feedback and beta readers and such. So it’s really important when you’re writing that first draft, that you understand that you’re writing from a place of power, because you are making all of the choices to own that power to fully step into that, that power and acknowledge it, and treat the writing with the level of respect that that it deserves. There have been authors throughout the ages that have used slurs as a way to wake people up, have use slurs as a way to empower themselves as a writer. And if you look at some of the greats, you’ll find that there are a lot of black authors that use slurs against black people, which are my people. And they do it from a place of anger, place of wanting to reclaim their own power, and sometimes the place of wanting to slap someone hard across the face. And I feel like that’s what a slur can do. It can turn your your blood to ice, it can make your blood boil, it can be a stopper across the face, it can be a lot of negative things. And for some people, it can be a place of of comfort and celebration that people who use slurs to harm, it can be a place of celebration.
K
For me as someone who purchased books that have slurs in them. I do not purchase books where they are written from the point of view of the person who uses the slur and revels in it. I never purchased a book that they’re reveling in the use of a slur. And that’s down to my personal preference and my personal boundaries. I just think that there’s enough of that in the world. And I don’t need to be putting more of that in the world. So for me, if you’re writing a slur, and you’re writing from the point of view of a person in power, who is using slurs? Is that slur absolutely necessary? Because I find that slurs can be used in a very sloppy way. And that irritates me when it’s just a shorthand to tell me that this is a bad guy, or if this is shorthand to sort of earmark the era of what it was or to create ambiance. And no, it’s just, it’s not necessary. And for me, there have been great books that I start reading them. And they use a slur to sort of capture the sign of the times, as it were, a lot of people like to use slurs when writing about the 70s when I grew up, and I’ll tell you, they weren’t just being thrown around like that. And people weren’t just using them without consequences. I think because there isn’t any social media like there is now that you’re not seeing people have violent reaction to those stores being used, but in the 70s guarantee that if you called somebody a slur, they were most likely going to have a violent reaction. I think in the 60s, it was still a little bit dangerous to have that violent reaction. But post 60s was sort of a new era and that it was safer to have those those reactions, it wasn’t safe, it’s never safe to have a violent reaction. So for me, my lived experience in the 70s slurs were not just thrown around like that, but what was considered a slur was different. So what people called themselves was very different than what people call themselves today. So if there’s a within group usage, it doesn’t take me out of it. But if so without group usage, and it can be expressed in a different way. I would say go that different way. And don’t use the slur if you’re using a search to convey that somebody is horrible. She’s a different way. It’s just or if you’re using a slur to show that somebody is passively accepting of the the race or gender or identity dynamics that exist that are unequal. Choose a different route. Don’t have a character that you want somebody to empathize with, or like or dislike that you want somebody to have strong emotions. Do Don’t use slurs as a way to sort of cheat the perv. And cheat the process of letting me get to know and decide for myself, who I’m going to like and who I’m not going to like. And that’s my main problem was surgeons, I think they feel really heavy handed and pointed, and like the author is trying to force an emotional reaction, or sort of my thinking or my connection, and I don’t like that forced feeling. If a star comes out of nowhere, I’m done, whether it be a book, or a movie, or a song or a poem. As soon as I get a stern, it feels off to me, I’m out of there.
K
So you, you run the risk of really losing your audience if they’re not used authentically. And I think for people who don’t use slurs, and haven’t been around people that use slurs shouldn’t write slurs, because there’s an inauthenticity to it, because you don’t know when it would be natural. And I use the same for for cursing, if you don’t curse. And you’re having your character use a lot of foul language, it’s going to come off strange, and there’s going to be strange pairings. There’s the sort of language of, of how curse words go together. And so same thing of when and how slurs occur. And people tend to mistakenly think that in everyday conversation, slurs just get thrown around. And I can tell you that that’s not actually how it happens. It’s more pointed than that. And they mean to use it. And I find that if you’re looking to express bias and bigotry, there has to be an intelligence to it. And there has to be an understanding of how do people who think this way, talk? And how do they talk when they’re within their their inner circle? And it’s just like minded individuals? And how do they talk? When they’re talking to someone that they have a bias towards? And when would they feel comfortable using a slur or derogatory language?
K
And when would it be most authentic and most natural? And because slurs always do harm and always cause pain? Is it really necessary, because you’re going to trigger your audience. As soon as you use that store, there’s going to be a reaction, it’s going to get noticed, you’re going to get everyone’s attention at at that point in time in the story, and doesn’t have the payoff that you want it to have. So I have a couple of examples of conversations that I have with authors about stories. And one is our first book has a sexuality slur. And I did not agree with that. And I spoke with the author and the author said that that word was said by that person specifically to hurt. And they had an intelligence about why they were using it. And their argument sounded authentic to me. I did not enjoy it. I wouldn’t have left it in the book. But I’m talking with the author. I was like, okay, that really makes sense to me. And I can see your point of view and it feels authentic, it feels informed, and it doesn’t feel like the bigotry is coming from them. And in our second book, there are derogatory, sexuality, derogatory statements, and it was done to highlight the inequality, that bisexual and the bias that bisexuals face, they’re sort of written off and not honored. It’s not acknowledged that bisexuality is an authentic sexual preference, and one that should be respected and honored and, and viewed as being an honest sexual identification and sexual preference. And that point, once I read all the way through to the end, I saw okay, we we brought it around, but it was very jarring. And there was conversations about that. And the conversations were very intelligent again, and very authentic. And then we had a book that we didn’t publish and which the author was using slurs just to show that a character was a bad person. And I was just like this. It wasn’t authentic. It was really heavy handed and it felt like a shortcut. And I talked to the optimist said, Hey, this feels like a shortcut to me. I feel like you’re forcing it I feel like you’re wanting me to be revolted by this character. And they were saying, Yeah, well, everybody is they’re revolting. And because they’re revolting, this is the way that they would speak. And I was like, but this is an internal dialogue. And do you really think that someone’s internal dialogue is this heavily laced with slurs? And I’ve gotten to know people who have a lot of biases. And I’ve spoken to them about about their bias and what their internal dialogue is. And it’s really not that pointed, it’s really more offhanded. It’s very much those people kind of kind of language and it’s really not, it’s not just a string of slurs, it’s not just there might be one or two peppered in there. But it’s not, you know, 10, or 15. And like the space of a three minute thought, unpack on a page. So they’re just really doesn’t need things like, Do you need every single one that you’re using? Can you make the point with less, and we did publish a book profits that specifically is really a heavy book, and is heavily laced with a lot of slurs and a lot of really ugly language. That does not happen when the characters are talking amongst themselves as much as when somebody who is an abuser, and a horrible person, and a predator is using it to hurt and maim, but the story is not told from that person’s perspective. And I think it’s really handled well with a lot of sensitivity and intelligence. And we get to go through the process of this person, just the main character discovering themselves, then being vilified for their identity, and then coming into their own. And so that journey makes sense. And some really horrible things happen in the middle of that process. When those horrible things are happening, I had to ask myself, like, are these things too horrible? Is it too much does it need to be reined in? And there were lots of really great conversations with with the author about, okay, this feels a little heavy, this makes sense.
K
And in that conversation, as a writer, if you’re talking with a press or an agent, or an editor, or a beta reader, sensitivity reader, about what you’re writing, listen to what they have to say, with an openness of spirit. And ask them questions. Why do you think this and ask get a second opinion, by all means, but be open to it. And if you’re getting that, that feedback from more than one person, my advice would be scale it back, scale it back for readability. Because at the end of the day, we want as many people as possible reading your book, right, and you want great reviews. So I’m not saying that, that service can’t be used, I’m saying there has to be a reason. And because, for me, you’re going to be hurting your audience. Even if you use it in as a form of intimacy, or as a form of, you know, the way to friends speak to each other, there are going to be people that are hurt by the use of that language. So are you hurting people just to hurt them? Or does it actually move the story, the story forward, or take it in a direction where you’re having the type of conversation you want to have? Or you’re hoping to evoke? So really understanding what is the purpose is paramount. I know there are going to be some people that are going to have examples of this book or that book where they do it and the book may be a best seller. And I say to you, I am one person in the whole of of the world reading, I’m only one person. But I am one person with the ability to publish books. And every person has the ability to publish publish books, but I also have the motivation and drive to do so. So this is really looking at a publisher’s perspective. Because at the end of the day, we have to mark it and sell your book. And look at the date those books were published and the date that those books became bestsellers. And look at who was able to write those books when because I’m telling you now, who you are as an author really shapes who as a press, and I talk with other press owners about this and we’re all in agreement with the US and even the big, the big four mystery big five. Now have the perspective that who’s writing it matters. Are you allowed to write this way and I think that there does need to be a little bit of that. A little bit of considering who you are in terms of your identity, what name is going on the cover of the book, and when people look you up, what are they going to think of you when they read it. And if you’re not from the group that you are writing about, if you’re not from the group that has been entered by that language, and you’re using it, if it doesn’t really fit and have a really solid purpose, it’s going to really ring false. And it’s going to put people off it, it may put people off on you as an author, and I love authors, and I don’t want authors to miss opportunities. And I don’t want authors to be disliked or or viewed negatively, because they were writing with good intentions. And they were writing with a good purpose, but they just overused slurs a little bit too much, or use slurs that really weren’t necessary and the book could have done without, and there are times that authors will include will drop a slur here or there. And we just edit that that out completely just Nope. It doesn’t fit. And there’s no conversation, we just strike it from the book. And what we do in our editing process is after the editor goes through it, all of those strikes are there. But we don’t put a comment next to them. But we do give the author the opportunity to put a comment next to any edit and send it back to us. And sometimes there’s a conversation afterwards. And and sometimes there’s just agreement.
K
But there, there is always the awareness that at the end of the day, we’re trying to make your book as marketable as possible. And that’s what these podcasts episodes are about. It’s about improving the marketability of your book, it gives when you hear the statistics are just heart wrenching. When you’re here like Penguin, their average book is selling 12 copies in its lifetime. That’s crazy, right? That’s wild. And sorry, for my use of crazy. I’m trying to switch to wild because and that’s a perfect, this is a perfect example of catching yourself using language that’s outdated. And as a writer, I say write your first draft and just be authentically yourself. Like I’m authentically myself, I’m not going to edit that out. I’m going to leave it in. And I’m sorry for anyone that that hurts. And I’m sorry that I haven’t fully converted my my language to use the word wild in place of that. Because when I was when I was growing up, that was the word we use with a lot of lot of other words that I’ve been quicker to edit out of my vocabulary. Not one is sticking a little bit. And I’m doing my own good work with my soft say, why is this one sticking? And I think because I really I don’t see it as a slur and tie stop and think about it. Right? And there’s going to be words like that, that we don’t see them as slurs until we stop and think about it. And what is that word meant to express. And then to express it’s wild, it’s out of the ordinary, but because it has a negative connotation, and it’s been used to hurt people, I have to edit that out. So I’m showing a real time example of of what it looks like to edit your language and to be inclusive. And that’s my goal as a publisher and an owner of a press is to be inclusive. And the opposite is that we include in the point of views that we include, and the type of readers that we attract, we want to be inclusive and inviting and welcoming and safe. But the book market is flooded and make no mistake about it when you look at the numbers are wild. And it’s a dog eat dog world out there. And thankfully, our books are doing better than them penguins doing. Jeez Louise, I feel bad for them. I feel like maybe they should cut back on how many books are putting out because you have to just not be doing any marketing at all to have numbers that bad is what I’m thinking. I don’t know. It came out in the lawsuit. So it’s on my mind because we’ve been digesting it and it’s sort of like what everybody’s talking about right now because so much information came out and it’s weird that you get that kind of raw data dump of you know, a big prices numbers and it was just really quite shocking. So yeah, but most people are doing about that, to be honest, when you look at you know how many books will sell over 100 or over 200 and their lifetime and you’re down to I think like 10% of millions of books. You’re down to a handful of folks. So don’t do anything that’s going to give the reader permission to put your book down and not pick it up again, don’t give the your audience anything that’s going to give them permission to not read your next book, or your back catalogue because that’s where authors make their money as a sales of their back catalogue. It’s not usually, it’s not any one particular book is the totality of all the books that they’ve written. And the residuals on that. So when you’re looking at slurs and and using them, be thoughtful, be mindful, be purposeful, and ask yourself, Am I giving the audience an excuse to close my book? Is it necessary? What is the purpose of this? And does this serve me? And does this represent me in a way that I want to be represented? And the way that I want my audience to get to know me as an author? Is this what I want to stand by? Is this what I want to put more of in the world? And hey, remember, I’ve got books out there, we’ve got the process books out there with stores in them, so I’m not coming from a holier than thou place. I’m just, you know, a word of caution. You know, less is more and be purposeful. Those are the two takeaways from this episode. I hope everyone has. And yeah, I hope writers write we need more good stories. I want to thank all my beautiful cinnabar moths for listening and you can be any kind of moth you want to be or you can even be a butterfly, but I’m not Mariah Carey, and I’m not trying to bite her rhyme bye