Reading with Rasta: Imaginary Friends by Chad Musick
Imaginary Friends by Chad Musick.
Chapter One
The drowning of the tiger was symptomatic of more serious problems with household management. It began with the library, which was woefully unlike a library. A library ought to be full of writing and silence. Ivy’s, before it was replaced by the real one, was overstuffed with books. What Ivy called her library was, in fact, a particleboard shoe holder she’d found dumped on the side of the road when she was ten. It could only hold about thirty of her favorite books. Like most fourteen-year-olds, she had terrible taste in literature: her favorites were whichever you think are the worst.
Balancing the holder on her wheelchair as she rolled home had been hard. She’d had to repeatedly shift hands (one for the wheel, one for the case) to make progress, but Ivy had never been one to give up easily. Ultimately, that had been the thing that got her parents killed. Let’s leave that aside for now, because she found the ersatz library before that tragedy and our story begins much later.
What the library hadn’t had was silence.
None of the friendly rats who lived in the walls of the house were gnawing the wood or anything—particle board is mostly glue and sawdust, and tastes terrible besides, much like books do. No, what prevented the proper silence was Ivy’s obnoxious habit of constantly singing. When she was happy, she sang little ditties about how all the rainbows of the world were springing forth from her heart. When she was sad, she sang little ditties about how the rainbows of the world required rain sometimes. When she slept, iridescent bubbles of song burbled from her nostrils, the way that snot does from the noses of grubbier children.
It was her shock at the death of the tiger that finally kept her quiet enough for the necessary silence to form. He had been only a paper tiger, but he’d had such fearful symmetry.
It was her silence, together with her almost-franticenough search for a book that could bring the tiger back, that completed the conditions necessary for the activation of the Library. You see, whenever someone truly needs a book that doesn’t exist yet, the universe bends itself toward that book’s creation. Sometimes this tugs against the curve of the arc of justice because even terrible people need books.
If you’re thinking the Library just appeared fully formed, with a nice wheelchair ramp leading down to elegant double doors and a librarian waiting inside, white gloves at the ready, you’re being silly.
It happened in the usual way, by someone ringing the doorbell and demanding that the occupant, Ivy in this case, sign for delivery.
We’ll get to the Library in a minute, but I haven’t told you about the tiger.
Actually, let’s start with Janice.
All giraffes are named Janice, excepting a few heretics. The old guard, being traditionalists, are the most militant in asserting that this is the necessary state of affairs.
The Janice of our story, however, is not one of the old guard. He’s too young to be a veteran of the Nehming War, and to him the consequent Sophie massacre is something that happened to distant French relatives. Because of this, he is sometimes known to intimate that his name might, in fact, be Chanda.
Despite this obvious breach in social graces, he doesn’t consider himself to be a deviant. In fact, he thinks of himself as quite normal. Janice is anything but normal. For one thing, he’s a giraffe. We mustn’t neglect this observation. Giraffes are not normal. But let us leave that aside for a moment and pretend they are.
Humans, not being monstrosities except in aggregate, naturally regard involuntary baldness among the males as an unsightly defect. Bald men are likely to be regarded as degenerates: alcoholics or, in extreme cases, history teachers. Among boy giraffes, however, baldness of the ossicles—those little sticky-uppy bits on their heads— is a mark of honor gained by battering at other giraffes.
To his enduring shame, the tops of Janice’s ossicles are covered in thick, feathery hair. Not because he is cowardly (though he is) but because Janice has never met another giraffe. In fact, he’s never encountered a third dimension at all, being stuck in perpetual twilight in the paper jungle pasted to the wall of Ivy’s otherwise crappy little house.
Just before the delivery arrived, Janice was complaining, which is typical Janice.
“Ivy! Where are you?”
Ivy rolled around the corner.
“I was in the kitchen making lunch. What’s wrong?”
Janice sniffed heavily and licked his nostril. “I’m lonely.”
“Why don’t you talk to Harmwala?”
“She’s always threatening to eat me.”
At this, Harmwala yawned, stretching her mouth to show off her teeth.
Harmwala isn’t the tiger. She’s a hyena. But fine, we can talk about the tiger.
The tiger’s name was Fred, and he was unpleasant most of his life, always monopolizing the pool beneath the waterfall that was beneath the rainbow. Ivy’s mural was that kind of mural, with a jungle and a waterfall and a pool and a rainbow and a little footbridge and an improbable number of large animals. I was happy when Fred drowned, and you would have been too if you’d met him. Forget about Fred. Nobody cared about him, though Ivy pretended to. If she’d really cared, she would have warned him about the ripple that trapped him in the pool.
What? No, these aren’t tears. And don’t you dare suggest that I’m Fred. Fred was a nobody, and I’m obviously a somebody, or they wouldn’t let me narrate. Just leave Fred out of this, alright?
The delivery woman, let’s call her Sandra, rang the doorbell, and Ivy opened the door. Because of the cold in Fairbanks, this was a complicated operation that involved entering an airlock, shutting the door behind her, and then opening the outer door. This is not a stealthy maneuver, but it keeps the cold from rushing in.
When the door opened, Sandra blinked without surprise at Ivy.
“You’re Black,” she said. “Sign here.”
“What? I’m sorry, I thought you were here to make a delivery. What does me being Black have to do with that?”
Sandra shrugged. “Nothing, but someone had to say it. Otherwise most people will assume you’re white and then get angry when they realize you’re not. Some people wouldn’t ever realize this, and then they’d be upset at the movie casting. If you would have just gazed into the mirror after you woke up this morning and thought about your looks, maybe pondered what foods you were the same color as, you could have spared yourself this embarrassing episode.”
“Fine, whatever. But what are you delivering? I didn’t order anything, and I don’t have any money to give you.”
“This delivery is a gift. You don’t owe anything, and unlike many gifts, you never will. Can you verify that your address is here, in Alaska, and that you’re wearing a cute floral-pattern skirt/top set that’s just faded enough to indicate that you’re either poor or reluctant to purchase new clothes?”
Ivy goggled at her. “You’re seriously deranged. Are you sure you’re really at the right place?”
Sandra looked down at her delivery manifest without really reading it, the way that delivery people across the world are taught to do.
“Yep, this is the right place. Please sign here.”
And of course Ivy signed, because that’s what one does when confronted by a determined and persistent Sandra with a clipboard and impatient stevedores waiting to finish this nonsense so that they can return to their dock.
When the Steves carried the pair of double doors through Ivy’s single door and set them at the low end of the mural, checking with a level and adjusting for the morethan-slight slope of Ivy’s floor, Ivy was too shocked by them fitting to object.
When they brought the wheelchair ramp in (and it was just as nice as you might have expected), Janice objected.
“We can’t afford all of this, Ivy! You haven’t even bought scissors to take away Fred’s body.”
Sandra smacked herself lightly in the forehead so Ivy would think she felt guilty. “Sorry, I forgot to explain about the payment for taking care of the Librarian.” She proffered a small envelope. Ivy looked at the money inside.
Ivy frowned at Sandra. There was something about the response that bothered Ivy, though one is rarely bothered by receiving envelopes full of money. Oh. Right. Nobody else ever talked with Janice, much less responded so positively. That’s more about Janice than other people, though.
“It’s not enough to make you rich,” Sandra said. “That would be counterproductive, because people who are rich either spend all of their time trying to become richer or trying to let everyone know they deserve it. But we can’t have you taking on side jobs anymore.”
This bothered Ivy most of all. She had been very careful to keep her identity on the Internet hidden. Writing essays for college students was all well and good (though less weller and less gooder to the professors of those students), but few students would hire Ivy if they knew her age.
There was also the matter of Child Services, who were likely to object, with the best intentions, to Ivy living on her own as a young teenage orphan. The longer their involvement could be avoided the better, in Ivy’s view.
Ivy was my friend, and I wish I could tell you a different and shorter story, in which Child Services arrives and helps her, and her new foster parents love her and she lives happily ever after. This is not that story.
In the time you were distracted, the Steves set the ramp carefully in place. Sandra rapped firmly on the doors, which swung inward into what should have been the wall.
The Librarian—or at least someone who lives in a magical library and acts as though they are in charge, so let’s just assume—emerged and clapped his hands together. The effect was a pfft of sound, muted by the white cotton of his gloves. “Right! You must be my custodian. I’ll need to be talked to daily so that I can give you instructions for my care, and you must wind me once a week. Fail to do any of these things, and I’ll take the Library and go. That’s rule number one.”
“Are we going on adventures?” Ivy had seen rather too many movies.
“Don’t be silly. What do they teach kids these days? No. We shall be studying. You have a lot to learn. We must prepare for when more patrons arrive.”
It is human nature to look for witnesses to the incredible. Ivy looked around to ask Sandra and the Steves if they were seeing what she was, but they were gone. Ivy looked back at the Librarian.
The animals, too, were curious about him. Harmwala prowled around the doorway, which now obstructed part of her jungle, and looked generally displeased. Nobody noticed because this was her usual look.
“He seems like he’d be crunchy. His bones are all on the outside.”
The Librarian didn’t seem bothered by this assessment.
His body was a deep brassy color, and if you got really close up, the way that Ivy did, you could see that there was a plastic film over him, like the kind that you might buy to protect a smartphone screen. It would have been rude of her to say it, but Ivy did wonder whether she could find the edge of that film and peel it away. Probably the Librarian would be covered in fingerprints almost immediately after that, even if Ivy was really careful to not touch him directly.
He was short, but his shape was that of a human. There was no rotundity to him, no knee-less suggestion that he would need to wobble as he walked. Except for the winding key stuck in his back, which conveniently folded down so that it wasn’t always banging into things, and the fact that his body appeared to be made of metal, with everything but his gloves permanently hammered onto him, he could have been a stock-issue human. In particular, he looked nothing like Tik-Tok from The Wizard of Oz books, and so Ivy felt an instant mistrust of him.
“I don’t mean to be rude,” Ivy started.
“Then don’t be,” the Librarian told her.
“It’s just that this situation is very confusing to me. I’m sure I speak for all of us,” and here she gestured to the animal companions in the mural, “in asking: What are the gloves for?”
The Librarian’s laugh sounded much like a church bell ringing in the distance, something as foreign to him as displays of emotion. “So that I don’t touch the paper of the books, of course. You’ll need to wear gloves yourself if you actually want to read the books. It’s rule number two! Now, come along. You need to get acquainted with the place before I’ll trust you enough to let you out of my sight.” The Librarian walked through the doors, and Ivy followed him down the ramp and into the library.
We’ll come back to that.